Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
