You're completely useless in the revolution.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
