my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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