I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
