best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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