i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Someone signed my nipple.
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