She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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