Are we in a gay sports bar?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The uberlube is also flammable
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize