Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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