He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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