hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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