yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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