I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you guys were way drunker than both of me
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
