I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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