he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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