One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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