you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
