Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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