Sry I called you an 8
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
