he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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