I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
