Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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