quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
why is half of my head shaved?
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