Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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