Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
