if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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