We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
