i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
