After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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