she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
