i need an iv and a liver transplant
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
