yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
