no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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