I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
