I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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