Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i now understand why vodka
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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