I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
When did angry sex become our thing?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize