she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
