We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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