she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
