Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize