why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
