so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
