I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
