i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
