ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
