we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
