Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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