Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
