let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
