More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
