just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
