I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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