OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
