when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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