Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
