Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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