everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
