New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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