I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's blow job season.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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