Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
