i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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