I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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