You just made me feel so damn special
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
